For the Two of Us
by Illogical1
Summary: "If you've reached this number, I either really like you, or you're a scam artist. Depending on which you are, I may or may not get back to you." "Hey Nat." Steve choked. "I know you won't get this, but I just needed to hear your voice. It's been a week." Or, Steve tries to cope with the loss of his wife, Natasha, after her sacrifice to get the soul stone. It's not easy.


**AN: Hello all! It's been a long long time since I've written anything! (Did anyone catch my pun?)**

**Anyway, the inspiration for this very sad fic came from a wonderful video on YouTube. It's called Steve & Natasha | Two of us. [+Endgame] by hybrid legend. Hybrid legend was kind enough to give me permission to write this based off of their video, so I think everyone should go check it out! watch?v=yAlaiyY42w0**

**As always, I do not own Marvel or the video above. I hope you enjoy and if you want to talk about the epic devastation that was Endgame, please leave me a comment!**

**I'm going to give some pretty serious Endgame spoilers, but if you haven't seen it at this point, what're doing with your life bro?**

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For the Two of Us

_September 2018, four months post Decimation _

Steve had only just purchased the ring from a second hand dealer. It wasn't his first choice, but high-quality items were hard to legally come by these days. Maybe, in a few years or so, the world would calm down, but Steve couldn't afford to wait that long. After the devastation the universe had just been through, Steve couldn't afford to wait at all.

He had just barely managed to dispose of the paper bag when he saw Nat staring down a bowl of soggy cornflakes in the kitchen. Steve had no plan, not much to offer, and only one thing left to lose. He didn't hesitate.

"I know this is the wrong time," he began as he slid into the seat next to her, "and I know this won't fix anything, but I'm so sick of losing." He pulled the ring from his pocket and held it out to her. "Maybe, just this once, you and I could win?"

Tears filled Nat's eyes as she accepted the ring.

They got married a week later in a courtroom. Nothing fancy, strangers as their witnesses, and no honeymoon. They had each other and that was all they needed.

_Present Day_

Steve had intentionally saved this stop for last. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to see Natasha's broken body at the foot of the mountain. However, he had a job to do. So, Steve did what he always did and soldiered on. He trudged up the mountain, each step harder than the previous.

"Welcome, Steven son of Joseph."

"Schmitt." Steve spat the name. "Take this and I'll be on my way."

"You would freely return such an expensive prize?"

"Anything that costs a life is no prize. Not that I expect you to understand." He waved the stone. "I just want her body back."

"Do as you will." Skull said as he reluctantly took the stone and vanished. One instant, Steve was standing at the clifftop and the next, he found himself in a pool of water, cradling his wife's broken body.

Steve didn't know how long he sat there, sobbing over his loss. Hours, days, later, he gave Natasha one last kiss before cradling her against his chest. Steve activated both of their time suits and launched themselves into the future, leaving the place of death behind.

Upon reaching 2023, Steve collapsed again, unwilling to let Nat go. He was vaguely aware of Bucky's arms around his shoulders and Sam's words of comfort.

X-X-X

"_If you've reached this number, I either really like you, or you're a scam artist. Depending on which you are, I may or may not get back to you."_

"Hey Nat." Steve choked. "I know you won't get this, but I just needed to hear your voice. It's been," he sobbed, tears streaming down his face, "it's been a week."

A knock at his door broke Steve out of his thoughts. Hanging up the call he said, "come in."

Pepper poked her head in. "Nick called. He said you've been ignoring his messages."

Ranking a hand through his hair, Steve sighed. "I told him I quit. He doesn't want to accept that."

"Are you sure you're done? Maybe some time off, a few years, will help?"

Steve leveled her with a broken stare. "Pepper. For me, I've spent the past sixteen years of my life serving my country. I've lost more things for the sake of the world than anyone should be asked to give. I've been labeled a terrorist, a fugitive, and a war criminal. I'm done."

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Pepper nodded. "You're right. You should choose what's right for you. I'll help you any way I can." With that, she left him alone again with nothing but an answering machine and his thoughts.

X-X-X

"_If you've reached this number, I either really like you, or you're a scam artist. Depending on which you are, I may or may not get back to you."_

"I can't do this anymore, Nat."

X-X-X

"Steve, I can't take that." Sam argued, backing away from the offered shield.

"You're a good man, Sam. That's all Cap is. I'm not that man anymore." Steve should've seen the slap coming for his head. "Ouch!"

"You stop that Steven Rogers! You're the best man I know. Just because you're lost right now doesn't change a thing."

Steve wanted to argue. Wanted to tell Sam about the nights he spent blaming himself. Wondering if her sacrifice was worth it. Hating himself for debating which was worse; loosing his best friends or loosing his wife. A man who thought those things didn't deserve that shield. Instead, he forced a smile, clapped a hand on Sam's shoulder and said, "I'm done. It's yours to do with as you please."

Sam sighed. "Fine. But I'm only keeping it warm for you."

X-X-X

"_If you've reached this number, I either really like you, or you're a scam artist. Depending on which you are, I may or may not get back to you."_

Steve hung up and glanced at the alarm clock. 3:48 am. Wiping a hand over his wet cheek, he rolled over and pressed redial.

"_If you've reached this number, I either really like you, or you're a scam artist. Depending on which you are, I may or may not get back to you."_

X-X-X

Two months went by. Steve hardly left his room and when he did, it was only for short bursts. He barely ate, rarely slept, and he was fully aware he looked like a zombie. Steve was currently lying on his mess of blankets that he once called a bed, twiddling his wedding ring when a knock rang out. One tap, then two, followed by another single tap. Bucky.

"Not now, Buck."

"Open the door or I will Punk." Apparently, Steve took too long to reply because the next thing he knew, his doorknob was swiftly unscrewed and his door was kicked in.

"What the-" Steve cut off his curse as he sat up. "What is your problem?"

"You," Bucky pointed, "are going to get up and shower. Then we are going to spar."

"What's the point of showering if we're going to spar?"

"Because you reek. Don't make me help you." Bucky threatened with a shake of his screwdriver.

Steve had to admit that the shower went a long way to making him feel human again. When he stepped back into his room, he found his bed made with clean sheets and a protein shake waiting for him. As he wandered through the house on his way to the gym, he sipped at the shake and felt his head start to clear. By the time Steve got to the gym, the shake was gone and Bucky was waiting for him.

"Tape up." He tossed a roll of tape at him. "And don't give me any of that 'I don't need it' crap."

Steve did as he was told and they went at it. At first, he went easy, but Bucky got more and more aggressive. Soon, Steve was swinging with full force and Bucky took it. They fought until both of them were battered and bruised and shaking. Steve took one last unsteady swing, missed, and collapsed into Bucky.

Steve sobbed into Bucky's shirt and Bucky brought his arms around Steve's heaving shoulders. "It's gonna get better, Stevie. I promise."

"I miss her." Steve heaved.

"I do too, pal."

X-X-X

_May 2019 _

It took an embarrassingly long time for Steve to realize what Natasha had been doing. While his days were a random mess of flying off to assist in emergencies, trying to calm riots, mourning his friends, and wandering the halls of the empty compound, Nat was spending set hours in her office.

When Steve finally got up the energy to ask, Nat simply answered, "Someone has to step up and run things, Steve. We can't give up and I have to tell myself to just keep going day by day."

That mentality went a long way for Steve. It helped him to get himself back together. Eventually, he was able to start a support group. Steve was no Sam Wilson, but he could do his best. Natasha was always there to remind him that his best was all anyone could ask for.

X-X-X

_Present_

"_If you've reached this number, I either really like you, or you're a scam artist. Depending on which you are, I may or may not get back to you."_

"Hey Nat. It's been three months. I think I'm ready to leave Tony's place. Remember when, after it had been a year since…well, it had been a year and you said that we couldn't give up and we had to live day by day? Well, I think I'm ready to try again."

X-X-X

It was hard. But eventually, Steve brought himself to go through Nat's things. He separated her personal items from her spy wear. He kept a few of her favorite clothes and pieces of jewelry and then let Laura, Pepper, and Wanda go through her things as well. He gave the arrow necklace to Clint.

There was once a time when Steve was jealous of the sniper, until he realized they were family and nothing else. After that, Steve gained a new found respect for Barton. Clint cried when Steve presented the necklace to him and wore it everyday since.

Even though most of her things were gone, Natasha's memory filled their home in Brooklyn. Steve printed and framed just about every picture he had of her, as well as a few drawings he had done.

Nat's wedding ring hung around his neck with his dog tags against his heart.

X-X-X

"_If you've reached this number, I either really like you, or you're a scam artist. Depending on which you are, I may or may not get back to you."_

"I'm trying to be the best of me and I'm trying to keep you with me, but it's hard. You're gone and I miss you so, so much."

X-X-X

"_If you've reached this number, I either really like you, or you're a scam artist. Depending on which you are, I may or may not get back to you."_

"So, apparently I can get a tattoo and it'll stick. It's not much, just your initials and a few lines from our song."

X-X-X

_November 22, 2023_

As much as Steve tried to press forward, he felt like he had taken three steps back today. They never celebrated her birthday. Natasha had never wanted to, but Steve always tried to do something nice for her anyway. This year, the most he could do was leave roses at her grave.

"Hey Nat. I know you hate birthdays and you hated flowers even more, but I couldn't not get you anything. You know how stubborn I can be."

He sat down on the snowy ground, not even flinching at the cold. "I almost didn't get out of bed today. Bucky makes me now though. You would've been thirty-nine today. I can't stop thinking about all the things you'll never do or see. I'm so sorry, Nat."

X-X-X

Sam invited both Steve and Bucky to his family's Thanksgiving dinner that year. Mrs. Wilson insisted it was because she had to properly thank the man who brought her family back together. Steve didn't have the heart to tell her it was Natasha and Tony that had brought her family back.

Steve intended to go, smile politely, and try not to eat more than what was socially acceptable. He did not take Darlene Wilson's maternal instincts into account. His plan had worked all the way up until dessert had been finished, Bucky had excused himself to the bathroom, and Sam had gotten up to help clean up. That's when Mrs. Wilson struck.

"Steve, dear, can you give me a hand?"

"Yes ma'am. What do you need help with?" Steve rose from his seat.

"Well, I need the trash taken out. Will you grab that bag and I'll show you where the can is?"

"Of course." He lifted the full trash bag, tied it, and followed Mrs. Wilson out to the garage. To Steve's confusion, there weren't any trashcans around. "Uh, Mrs. Wilson?"

"Steve, honey, you can set that bag down." She turned and indicated a shelf of trophies, footballs, random engine parts, and photo albums. "I wanted to show you something. I thought it best to do it in private."

Intrigued, Steve sat the trash bag down and waited.

"Sam must have told you by now, but my husband died over eight years ago." She waited for Steve's nod before going on, "this was his favorite place to be, so I keep his things in here. It's where I feel closest to him."

"How do you do it?" Steve asked through the lump in his throat. "How do you move past the grief?"

Mrs. Wilson looked at him with kind eyes. "Hand me that album there." She pointed to a well-worn, green album. "This was his favorite album. His mother made it for him."

The first few pages were filled with images of Paul Wilson's childhood up until his high school graduation. "After she gave it to him, he added to it. All his proudest achievements are in here." Mrs. Wilson explained as she reverently touched their wedding photo.

Steve flipped through the book, pictures displaying Mr. Wilson's college degree, his first job in his chosen field, his wife, and the births of his children. It went on to show his kids growing up, vacations, graduating, Sam's swearing in, and his first grandchild. Towards the end was a half-completed list with a picture for each checkmark. Mr. Wilson flying a plane, Mr. Wilson at the Grand Canyon, Mr. Wilson climbing up a mountain.

"He never finished it." Darlene whispered when Steve paused on the list and compared the pictures. "So, I'm finishing it for him." Darlene turned the page to show photos of herself on trips, skydiving, at a rock concert, at several charity events, and even finishing a marathon.

Finally, she turned her sad eyes back to Steve. "You asked me how I do it. I do it by living for both of us."

X-X-X

From then on, Steve made it his personal mission to live. He got a job as an art teacher and eventually taught classes at the VA. Steve ran with Bucky and Sam every morning and went to sleep with Nat's picture watching over him.

One weekend a month, Steve made a point of doing something Nat loved. Some weekends, it was baking, sometimes it was going on random trips to see little corners of the world. He finished her Netflix que and read all of her favorite books.

Steve still had his moments where grief tried to keep him in bed, but he was getting better. He missed his wife with all his heart but he wasn't giving up. The universe had given him a second, second chance, and Steve was going to live.

X-X-X

"_If you've reached this number, I either really like you, or you're a scam artist. Depending on which you are, I may or may not get back to you."_

"Hey Nat. I guess I'm living one life for the two of us now. I hope you're watching."

X-X-X

_The user's mailbox is full. Please hang up and try again or press one for more options._

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**AN: I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me! Thanks again to hybrid legend for the great video, and as always thanks to my amazing beta You'remyFriend! Please leave me a comment and tell me what you thought! Happy 4th of July! **


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